


Lights

by Kissa



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood-centric, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, Bottom Alec, Codependency, Edgeplay, Hurt Jace Wayland, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland Deserves Nice Things, Light Masochism, M/M, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:34:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa
Summary: How Alec and Jace deal with the pressure of missions and the risks they expose themselves to every night when they leave the Institute.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	Lights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadja_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/gifts).



There’s sticky blood (his own) cooling on the small of his back and he’s still dizzy from how much of it he lost. Tonight was a close call, but it was not an exceptional occurrence.  
  
Alec is grateful for the arm around his waist, supporting him as they make their way out of the dark and onto the animated streets of the city.  
  
It’s the same old routine - _go on a mission, kill demons_ \- until one day it’s not; until one of them doesn’t make it out of the dark. But tonight, they again tricked death, their parabatai bond springing into action and having their backs in battle.  
  
Jace is pretty banged up himself and he stubbornly refused Alec’s iratzes once they finished dispatching the demons, invoking their need to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.  
  
He is limping slightly and he has a split lip and a scraped temple, and there is caked blood in his hair, but his eyes are still burning with that savage determination that Alec learned early on not to fuck with.  
  
As they walk down a narrow street between brick buildings, that’s been bridged abundantly with outdoor fairy lights for the local festival, Alec sees the play of colours on his parabatai’s face and falls in love all over again.  
  
Even hurt and exhausted, Jace is still the most beautiful thing Alec has ever seen. It takes all his composure to resist his urge to pull Jace in a dark side alley, drop to his knees and beg for his cock - whether Jace wants to be sucked off until he can’t stand or to angry-fuck Alec against the mossy wall is secondary, as long as he gives Alec the much needed moments of no-mind, when his thoughts switch to black screen and all he can do is feel.  
  
But Jace needs care and Alec knows his stubborn parabatai will not wind down before he turned in his report.   
  


* * *

  
At the Institute, Alec gets caught up in admin stuff, taking in reports from all the teams that went out that night, looking over weapons maintenance lists and approving various requests.  
  
When he drops by Jace’s room to check on him (because in honesty, he knows Jace tends to neglect himself on purpose and he, Alec, personally resents that), he can tell by the strong scent of winter and pine that Jace is taking a hot bath and is relaxing in the tub.  
  
He enters carefully and runes the door locked before making his way to the bathroom and stopping in the doorway to take in the sight of Jace in the full tub, surrounded by fragrant foam and steam. The many cuts and scrapes are gone, but Jace still looks tired and with his battery at one per cent.  
  
“Alec, I can hear you worrying from way over there. Come over.” Jace says, not opening his eyes.  
  
Alec approaches, undressing and putting his clothes away neatly before stepping into the tub with Jace, wincing from how utterly hot the water is. His added volume to the tub makes the water overflow and splash all over the tiles, but once he finds a position where he fits against Jace, it’s actually nice.  
  
Firm hands start to wash his hair with slow, deliberate motions and he feels the stress of the day drain from him. He lets Jace touch him all over where he can reach in their current position and he slips into a pleased and relaxed state, letting his parabatai do with him as he pleases.  
  
By the time Jace drains the water from the tub, they are both rock hard and they fall onto the cool sheets together, legs entwined and hands taking inventory of new wounds and healed ones. 

Every night can be their last, they are both so painfully aware, but they cannot stop themselves.  
  
Alec remembers their first kiss and how perfect it was. They were kids really, both too serious and involved for their young ages, but they had already seen death and suffering, way too much of it and way too early. And Jace had cupped his jaw a bit too firmly, saying how Alec was the part of him that deserved to be kept safe. Then his lips had pressed against Alec’s and Alec had felt himself respond with every fiber of his being. They hadn’t been able to hold back or deny each other anything since that day.  
  
They are still so desperately, inextricably enmeshed and to an outsider’s eye, they are dysfunctional and broken, but sometimes the crazy, reckless love they feel for each other is the only thing keeping them alive.  
  
Alec lets himself sink into a heated kiss, letting Jace have control as usual. Through the bond, Alec can feel his parabatai is almost too exhausted to give him what he wants.  
  
But that has never stopped them. It just means it’s Jace’s turn to relax against the sheets and it’s up to Alec to do all the work in the darkness of the room.  
  
He’s sloppy and hurried opening himself up, wanting to feel Jace inside him sooner, rather than later, and he welcomes the pain, not without a mixture of guilt and giddiness. Whenever Jace gets him ready, he is too careful, trying to avoid hurting him and turning a deaf ear to Alec’s pleas. But Alec loves the sting and the tearing feeling because he feels it’s how it should be, at least for him. It’s nothing an iratze can’t fix, anyway.  
  
Jace may be exhausted, but he’s not a passive participant, and his hands grip Alec’s hips too hard, leaving marks that darken almost instantly. He uses the bond and his intimate knowledge of Alec’s body to always stop right before Alec tumbles over the edge.  
  
The fifth time Alec has his release dangled in front of his face and then withheld from him, he cries. It’s a lot to take, and his self-control is worn thin, to barely being there.  
  
He hears himself begging Jace to let him come, but all that earns him is a change of position. Now he’s on his stomach on the bed, and Jace’s thick cock breaches him again with little consideration for his comfort. He keens loudly, his fingers curling around fistfuls of the sheets.  
  
Jace fucks him like an animal, grunts turning into growls, Alec’s own responding sounds mere mewls and yelps. The burn and scrape against his overused hole becomes more and more urgent, the promise of far greater pain, but just before he tumbles down that road, Alec feels Jace’s teeth in the nape of his neck, biting him down hard - they are like cats mating on the roofs above the city.  
  
And this time, he mercifully allows Alec to come, fucking him right through it while chasing his own completion. Alec takes all of it gratefully, welcoming the overstimulating feeling of Jace’s swollen and about to burst erection against his well-used walls.  
  
When Jace comes, he pulls out while it bursts forth from him and Alec’s hole greedily swallows what it’s been given as even more of the pearlescent drops glaze its outside and Jace watches, running a finger down Alec’s crack. 

He keeps telling himself, one of these days he’s going to fuck Alec gently and show him why exactly mundanes call it “making love”. But at the rate they are going, he’s going to blow the last of his remaining sanity out with all the loads Alec pleads with him for. And it’s not like he wants to stop.  
  
He doesn’t want to stop, but he has to, because Alec can’t take any more, no matter what Alec insists on. Instead of acting on his renewing hard-on, he gets out of bed and walks to the adjacent bathroom, bringing something to clean them both with.   
  
Oddly, it’s not his release and the endorphins it dumped in his bloodstream that helps him switch off and sleep. It’s Alec sleeping carefree in his arms under the blankets and the lazy contentment the bond sends him from his parabatai’s end.  
  
The room isn’t fully dark, the many but distant city lights casting a faint silver glow on everything. Jace nods off, the day finally ending as it should, with Alec held securely in his arms, where the shadows can’t reach.  
  
(the end)

  
  
  



End file.
